Thursday, May 17, 2012

We Need A Car

Yes, that red car is, or should I say was, our car.  By God's grace our injuries weren't as bad as they could/should have been.  My husband was driving with my daughter and the other driver clipped a city bus and hit my husband head on.  The broken windshield is from the airbag, thankfully, not my daughter.  Here's a link to the story that the news covered along with more pictures.  (The added comments below the story are others who know nothing about the accident except what they read.)

After saying our blessings, we are now a bit put off because we are in the throws of car shopping-yuk.  We really liked this extremely reliable and affordable low mileage car.  Trying to find something comparable has me pulling my hair out.  I hate the idea of having to replace something that didn't need replacing prior to this and I'm not finding anything similar. 

The drama we've been experiencing these past four plus months is getting old.  I don't live a drama filled life and am ready for the "excitement" to subside.  I think we are on our way because my son has been golfing very well and that has been exciting to see him improve during the school season, which just ended the other day.  As he reminded us, now he has to start paying for his golf.  Time to find a job, I think, to help pay for all those tee times.

I am planning on having a coffee soon.  This will get me to clean the house and get back to a more typical "normal".  I've already decided that I'm not worrying about making fun treats (something I love doing) because that's not important.  The local grocery store can supply the goodies this time.  It's the company around the table is what I crave and enjoy and are what the coffee times are all about.

Enjoy and appreciate your families today.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Not Back to "Normal"

I really didn't expect things to change much after my dad passed.  Call me naive, but I honestly thought I'd get right back to where I was and trudge on.  This is one of the lessons my parents taught me.  You keep on because there really isn't an option.  It's normally the right lesson.  But I've surprised myself, and I am not moving on as I figured I would be. 

Dad lived across the state and I didn't have a chance to see him much, but we did talk frequently.  So I figured after his services, I'd go back home and life moves ahead because I have a family and work and a life to live.  Practical, yes.  Callous, possibly. 

But I'm not trudging forward.  I still have our luggage from our trip to Hawaii to put away.  I still have my suitcase from traveling for Dad to unpack.  I haven't worked out in weeks, and unfortunately I don't feel like it.  It feels like there is so much to take care of around the house and I just walk past it. 

No, I'm not depressed, just temporarily overwhelmed.  I do miss my dad!  And I'm surprised at how much.  I knew this day was coming.  I actually hoped for it to be sooner than later to alleviate any pain he would be in.  But now that it's actually here, it's so final.  (I do have hope because we will be together again in heaven.)

If you have a moment, please pray for me.  And especially for my dad's wife.  This is so hard on her and she misses him terribly.  As hard a time as I'm having with moving on I can't imagine what it would be like to lose your spouse.

My head knows what I should be doing but my heart is heavy and hurting.  Today is just a day of grief for me.  I was told to be prepared for an overwhelming sense of unexpected sorrow to hit.  I think it has today.